Interesting read. I as a rule, tend not to throw compliments out to people I don't know clothed or unclothed. And limit my compliments about people's appearance even amongst the people that I do know as all it takes is a misplaced word or gesture to go from friendly to creepy.
Compliments section is great idea. So long as it’s non-offending. As was just mentioned to encourage and appreciate in the vain of wholesomeness of nudism/ naturism. Jan&Gary
Compliments should be open & from inner self. However the words must be used carefully without offending even though my thoughts may differ. Generally the compliments should be to encourage & to appreciate. Even though if I have my own thoughts different from the person about whom I am posting my compliments, my words should not hurt the person.
Don't say anything to a female that you wouldn't normally say to another male. Many "compliments" are just stating the obvious anyway and are insincere. Keep the comments general and not focused on appearance.
Agreed. I have seen many comments of “Beautiful” and the like, which may or may not be appropriate, or desired. There is always a way to provide a compliment that does not bring looks or body parts into inappropriate focus.
Naturism/nudism/whatever has several third rails. This is one of them.
While it is not a universal truth, women feel more vulnerable naked. They have reproductive potential and men want it. To a textile, even a small patch of fabric is a form of armor. It says, "You can't have this unless I say so." A woman at a nudist venue, especially a newcomer, is likely to be hypersensitive without it.
***Do not complain that she shouldn't be. Accept that she is.***
My general rule is to pay compliments for accomplishments and not for appearance. If a woman has just done something outstanding, that's cool. "You ran a mile in 6 minutes. I couldn't do that on the best day of my life. I am impressed." OTOH, "You have a lovely smile." is creepy. I've seen it used so often it has become code for, "I want to compliment you for being sexually attractive but I can't say what I'm thinking."
Even on social media, you'll see where a photo of a nude guy might get a "like" while the same photo of a woman will get a "love" - usually a heart of some sort. See it a dozen times and it gets creepy.
If a woman has gone to some length to look attractive, I think that's fair game. You don't wear an expensive Dior gown or go for extensive body paint without wanting people to notice. But you are complimenting the gown and not the occupant. "That's a lovely gown!" is cool while "You're body is hot in that!" is creepy.
I suppose the smile compliment could be appropriate if she just announced she was back from the orthodontist. It is a variation of having just gotten back from the hair stylist. You do these things wanting to be noticed. Again, you are complimenting the results of the effort, not the body of the person.
Complimenting physical appearance is only acceptable if two people know each other well or if they BOTH understand they are in a courtship phase. I say "both" because you may think you are courting but she is not courting you. Unwelcome courtship is double creepy, even to me.
Most women will not respond to creepy behavior with, "That's creepy." They will avoid making a fuss, maybe even smile, say thank you, and then move away. And maybe never return to the club because they went there to *avoid* creepiness.
All the things I have are just the current zeitgeist. You will never go wrong if you follow these rules at a nudist resort or a nudist social media site.. If you move to a more sexually oriented group, different rules come into play. (Truth is that women know exactly how they look and you don't need to tell them.)
I hate the word "objectification" because no man I have ever met preferred to have sex with an object. Some men may prefer uncommitted sex but that isn't the same as treating someone as an object. Some women prefer it that way too. Lust is a very *human* activity.
Men and women (usually) respond differently to the same stimulus, so don't assume that because it would be okay by you it "ought to be" okay by another person. Since sexuality is primal, humans will never stop looking at potential partners and judging them according to sexual attractiveness. But right now the rules of the game are in flux.
Well said Steve, personally I look forward to reading the comments on SM especially those shots with attractive females.
You always get someone who posts "hot" or some other derogatory remark. I then check their profile, media and their posts. Almost always they are the pornhounds who claim to be naturists, and they will always have a pseudonym with a creepy name.
It is these who stick their head out from under the rock where they live who I block.
Women who have been unmercifully objectified and felt socially obligated to meet certain standards of appearance, just want to been seen as a person.
I’ve had enough experiences of creepy male behaviour to understand what it feels like. Unsettling.
It isn’t even unsolicited compliments. It’s the lack of genuine engagement to know or understand somebody and actually relate to them as a fellow human.
Once a mutual level of trust and respect is established, then compliments are taken in a context that’s understood. What’s more, what is likely to be appropriate is clearly understood.
A good many men are poorly socialized and otherwise clueless as to what behaviors are appropriate in the company of others. It’s not only verbal behavior that is concerning, but goes to physical behavior. For example, if a guy insists on letting his hair grow, is he clueless about the need to keep said hair clean and odor free? This includes all body hair, from the top of the head to beard and mustache to pits and pubes and beyond. Hanging out around either men or women staring or grinning foolishly is not only stupid but predatory. It’s worse when stupid men just can’t get it into their heads that one’s nakedness is not an invitation for sexual activity. I sometimes wonder whether or not nudist venues should include a mandatory orientation as to exactly what behaviors are unacceptable in any degree. Of course, if we were all raised in nudist venues from birth, we might have a better concept of what is unacceptable and how to properly address those who violate healthy norms.
Interesting read. I as a rule, tend not to throw compliments out to people I don't know clothed or unclothed. And limit my compliments about people's appearance even amongst the people that I do know as all it takes is a misplaced word or gesture to go from friendly to creepy.
Compliments section is great idea. So long as it’s non-offending. As was just mentioned to encourage and appreciate in the vain of wholesomeness of nudism/ naturism. Jan&Gary
Compliments should be open & from inner self. However the words must be used carefully without offending even though my thoughts may differ. Generally the compliments should be to encourage & to appreciate. Even though if I have my own thoughts different from the person about whom I am posting my compliments, my words should not hurt the person.
Don't say anything to a female that you wouldn't normally say to another male. Many "compliments" are just stating the obvious anyway and are insincere. Keep the comments general and not focused on appearance.
Agreed. I have seen many comments of “Beautiful” and the like, which may or may not be appropriate, or desired. There is always a way to provide a compliment that does not bring looks or body parts into inappropriate focus.
Be creative people!
Naturism/nudism/whatever has several third rails. This is one of them.
While it is not a universal truth, women feel more vulnerable naked. They have reproductive potential and men want it. To a textile, even a small patch of fabric is a form of armor. It says, "You can't have this unless I say so." A woman at a nudist venue, especially a newcomer, is likely to be hypersensitive without it.
***Do not complain that she shouldn't be. Accept that she is.***
My general rule is to pay compliments for accomplishments and not for appearance. If a woman has just done something outstanding, that's cool. "You ran a mile in 6 minutes. I couldn't do that on the best day of my life. I am impressed." OTOH, "You have a lovely smile." is creepy. I've seen it used so often it has become code for, "I want to compliment you for being sexually attractive but I can't say what I'm thinking."
Even on social media, you'll see where a photo of a nude guy might get a "like" while the same photo of a woman will get a "love" - usually a heart of some sort. See it a dozen times and it gets creepy.
If a woman has gone to some length to look attractive, I think that's fair game. You don't wear an expensive Dior gown or go for extensive body paint without wanting people to notice. But you are complimenting the gown and not the occupant. "That's a lovely gown!" is cool while "You're body is hot in that!" is creepy.
I suppose the smile compliment could be appropriate if she just announced she was back from the orthodontist. It is a variation of having just gotten back from the hair stylist. You do these things wanting to be noticed. Again, you are complimenting the results of the effort, not the body of the person.
Complimenting physical appearance is only acceptable if two people know each other well or if they BOTH understand they are in a courtship phase. I say "both" because you may think you are courting but she is not courting you. Unwelcome courtship is double creepy, even to me.
Most women will not respond to creepy behavior with, "That's creepy." They will avoid making a fuss, maybe even smile, say thank you, and then move away. And maybe never return to the club because they went there to *avoid* creepiness.
All the things I have are just the current zeitgeist. You will never go wrong if you follow these rules at a nudist resort or a nudist social media site.. If you move to a more sexually oriented group, different rules come into play. (Truth is that women know exactly how they look and you don't need to tell them.)
I hate the word "objectification" because no man I have ever met preferred to have sex with an object. Some men may prefer uncommitted sex but that isn't the same as treating someone as an object. Some women prefer it that way too. Lust is a very *human* activity.
Men and women (usually) respond differently to the same stimulus, so don't assume that because it would be okay by you it "ought to be" okay by another person. Since sexuality is primal, humans will never stop looking at potential partners and judging them according to sexual attractiveness. But right now the rules of the game are in flux.
Well said Steve, personally I look forward to reading the comments on SM especially those shots with attractive females.
You always get someone who posts "hot" or some other derogatory remark. I then check their profile, media and their posts. Almost always they are the pornhounds who claim to be naturists, and they will always have a pseudonym with a creepy name.
It is these who stick their head out from under the rock where they live who I block.
They make it so easy.
Have a nice day Steve
All good common sense and common decency - thank you!
This is pretty simple really.
Women who have been unmercifully objectified and felt socially obligated to meet certain standards of appearance, just want to been seen as a person.
I’ve had enough experiences of creepy male behaviour to understand what it feels like. Unsettling.
It isn’t even unsolicited compliments. It’s the lack of genuine engagement to know or understand somebody and actually relate to them as a fellow human.
Once a mutual level of trust and respect is established, then compliments are taken in a context that’s understood. What’s more, what is likely to be appropriate is clearly understood.
A good many men are poorly socialized and otherwise clueless as to what behaviors are appropriate in the company of others. It’s not only verbal behavior that is concerning, but goes to physical behavior. For example, if a guy insists on letting his hair grow, is he clueless about the need to keep said hair clean and odor free? This includes all body hair, from the top of the head to beard and mustache to pits and pubes and beyond. Hanging out around either men or women staring or grinning foolishly is not only stupid but predatory. It’s worse when stupid men just can’t get it into their heads that one’s nakedness is not an invitation for sexual activity. I sometimes wonder whether or not nudist venues should include a mandatory orientation as to exactly what behaviors are unacceptable in any degree. Of course, if we were all raised in nudist venues from birth, we might have a better concept of what is unacceptable and how to properly address those who violate healthy norms.
Beautiful..👌👍