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Au Naturel's avatar

Naturism/nudism/whatever has several third rails. This is one of them.

While it is not a universal truth, women feel more vulnerable naked. They have reproductive potential and men want it. To a textile, even a small patch of fabric is a form of armor. It says, "You can't have this unless I say so." A woman at a nudist venue, especially a newcomer, is likely to be hypersensitive without it.

***Do not complain that she shouldn't be. Accept that she is.***

My general rule is to pay compliments for accomplishments and not for appearance. If a woman has just done something outstanding, that's cool. "You ran a mile in 6 minutes. I couldn't do that on the best day of my life. I am impressed." OTOH, "You have a lovely smile." is creepy. I've seen it used so often it has become code for, "I want to compliment you for being sexually attractive but I can't say what I'm thinking."

Even on social media, you'll see where a photo of a nude guy might get a "like" while the same photo of a woman will get a "love" - usually a heart of some sort. See it a dozen times and it gets creepy.

If a woman has gone to some length to look attractive, I think that's fair game. You don't wear an expensive Dior gown or go for extensive body paint without wanting people to notice. But you are complimenting the gown and not the occupant. "That's a lovely gown!" is cool while "You're body is hot in that!" is creepy.

I suppose the smile compliment could be appropriate if she just announced she was back from the orthodontist. It is a variation of having just gotten back from the hair stylist. You do these things wanting to be noticed. Again, you are complimenting the results of the effort, not the body of the person.

Complimenting physical appearance is only acceptable if two people know each other well or if they BOTH understand they are in a courtship phase. I say "both" because you may think you are courting but she is not courting you. Unwelcome courtship is double creepy, even to me.

Most women will not respond to creepy behavior with, "That's creepy." They will avoid making a fuss, maybe even smile, say thank you, and then move away. And maybe never return to the club because they went there to *avoid* creepiness.

All the things I have are just the current zeitgeist. You will never go wrong if you follow these rules at a nudist resort or a nudist social media site.. If you move to a more sexually oriented group, different rules come into play. (Truth is that women know exactly how they look and you don't need to tell them.)

I hate the word "objectification" because no man I have ever met preferred to have sex with an object. Some men may prefer uncommitted sex but that isn't the same as treating someone as an object. Some women prefer it that way too. Lust is a very *human* activity.

Men and women (usually) respond differently to the same stimulus, so don't assume that because it would be okay by you it "ought to be" okay by another person. Since sexuality is primal, humans will never stop looking at potential partners and judging them according to sexual attractiveness. But right now the rules of the game are in flux.

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BiNudieGuy's avatar

This is pretty simple really.

Women who have been unmercifully objectified and felt socially obligated to meet certain standards of appearance, just want to been seen as a person.

I’ve had enough experiences of creepy male behaviour to understand what it feels like. Unsettling.

It isn’t even unsolicited compliments. It’s the lack of genuine engagement to know or understand somebody and actually relate to them as a fellow human.

Once a mutual level of trust and respect is established, then compliments are taken in a context that’s understood. What’s more, what is likely to be appropriate is clearly understood.

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