This mishap took place in naturist club, is just a coincidence. It can happen anywhere. It has happened only because of the specific inhuman tendency of the person. It has nothing to do with place, age, religion, community, profession etc. Hope that the poor young girl recovers very soon & starts her normal life..
I read the story in the Star Tribune. The circumstances are strange. Too begin with, how was it this man got this girl's mobile number, anyway? She had to have given it to him. According to the story, the man was "described" to the girl as a "family friend" - which indicates she didn't know him before they met at the resort. But if she had just met him at the resort, why in the world is she giving her mobile number to a total stranger? The story doesn't make clear about the period of time these text messages cover. If they just met at the resort, is it even possible all of these messages were sent just on that occasion? Did he continue to text her after they met at the resort? And if she is getting these kinds of text messages from him, why isn't she telling anyone about it?
The story makes it very clear: what happened at the resort between the man and the girl was not stopped, nor was it discovered, at the resort itself. The reason this man was arrested is because the story says the girl's mother found these text message on her daughter's phone and reported the man to the police. After the fact. We might assume the "family friend" status of this man might have been with these grandparents - since all are probably in the same age range. We don't know if these grandparents are the mother's parents or in laws. But we can presume the mother was well aware they were taking her daughter to this resort, and gave her blessing for them to do so. I do think the thrust of your piece is underscored by the fact the story tells us how he ended up arrested: it was after all this was done. So nobody at the resort saw or knew this was going on.
If the resorts are either unaware or willfully blind to things like this, then it destroys what they try to build: trust that resorts like this are safe. Unlike many, I'm saying this girl is partially to blame for this. If she gives her number to this man she's never met, and he starts texting her for lewd photos of her and her friends, she has an obligation to report it. To her family first and foremost. But also to the resort, so they can take the steps to banish him. What I want to know is: why didn't she do it?
I've seen it. A man in his 40s/50s with a teenage girl. I've talked about it with others who also confirmed they've seen it and reported it. Yet, nothing will be done about it for the simple reason that nothing yet has happened (to anyone's knowledge). And *that* is the part that really infuriates me.
Why must we wait? Everyone can see how inappropriate things are. Everyone can see the grooming. Everyone can feel the dynamic. Yet, simply because the man might claim innocence nothing will be done. Because there is a desire to protect other people who might also talk to teenage girls and might therefore be at risk of supposedly false accusations.
How is any of this helpful to anyone? This is how we fail kids. Not just in naturist communities but everywhere. Because we believe we can't do anything until something happens as one person's s feelings take precedence over another person's safety.
I'm writing with quite a bit of anger here because the majority of this is a gendered issue and so I'll apologize once (but not again) for words misplaced that might offend. It's so frustrating to think about how many centuries things like this have lasted.
As a male, the sense of vulnerability is part of the charm I find in being naked. Nudists need to be aware that a female may not share that sense. Men don't live in fear of rape. Many women do. Vulnerability is to be feared. Clothing is a kind of armor. If a man assaults a woman, clothing is something that has to be dealt with.
It is also viewed as a sheath for a dangerous weapon. Many women and men consider a penis to be a sexual weapon. The difference between fully clothed and fully nude is viewed like the difference between keeping it secured in an inaccessible holster vs. brandishing it about.
Not everyone looks at it this way but the serious opponents of nudity do. This is just a confirmation to them.
Instances like this are aggregated by the idea of vulnerability when naked. There is no changing that response. I believe pointing out that this can happen anywhere is appropriate, but unfortunately falls well short of being the answer.
I feel that civil suits against perpetrators at naturist clubs would be appropriate. Most clubs have visitors and members sign a code of conduct which this would violate. I know this does nothing to help the public perception, but it can be an additional deterrent when it is known to happen.
Of course these things happen everywhere, but by stressing the “family friendly” nature of nudist/naturist venues and always highlighting the non-sexual aspect of our nakedness, when such things happen on our watch the repercussions are amplified. By saying “these things don’t happen here, we take more precautions than anyone”, we set ourselves up for a harder fall than other groups might face.
And no, I don’t know what the answer is, except redouble the vigilance.
Nov 30, 2023·edited Nov 30, 2023Liked by BOPBadger
This guy is lower than whale sh*t. He has single handedly destroyed a young girl's perceptions of a community of likeminded people and put into question the legitimacy of a whole way of life for Naturists in response. Yes, this can and does happen anywhere, but now we have to circle the wagons to defend against an onslaught of a public response to this. Current legislative bills in Wisconsin seek to reduce our freedoms for even less. What a slug. My opinion is that he should face the wrath of the legal system. Let him finish his days incarcerated.
This mishap took place in naturist club, is just a coincidence. It can happen anywhere. It has happened only because of the specific inhuman tendency of the person. It has nothing to do with place, age, religion, community, profession etc. Hope that the poor young girl recovers very soon & starts her normal life..
I read the story in the Star Tribune. The circumstances are strange. Too begin with, how was it this man got this girl's mobile number, anyway? She had to have given it to him. According to the story, the man was "described" to the girl as a "family friend" - which indicates she didn't know him before they met at the resort. But if she had just met him at the resort, why in the world is she giving her mobile number to a total stranger? The story doesn't make clear about the period of time these text messages cover. If they just met at the resort, is it even possible all of these messages were sent just on that occasion? Did he continue to text her after they met at the resort? And if she is getting these kinds of text messages from him, why isn't she telling anyone about it?
The story makes it very clear: what happened at the resort between the man and the girl was not stopped, nor was it discovered, at the resort itself. The reason this man was arrested is because the story says the girl's mother found these text message on her daughter's phone and reported the man to the police. After the fact. We might assume the "family friend" status of this man might have been with these grandparents - since all are probably in the same age range. We don't know if these grandparents are the mother's parents or in laws. But we can presume the mother was well aware they were taking her daughter to this resort, and gave her blessing for them to do so. I do think the thrust of your piece is underscored by the fact the story tells us how he ended up arrested: it was after all this was done. So nobody at the resort saw or knew this was going on.
If the resorts are either unaware or willfully blind to things like this, then it destroys what they try to build: trust that resorts like this are safe. Unlike many, I'm saying this girl is partially to blame for this. If she gives her number to this man she's never met, and he starts texting her for lewd photos of her and her friends, she has an obligation to report it. To her family first and foremost. But also to the resort, so they can take the steps to banish him. What I want to know is: why didn't she do it?
I've seen it. A man in his 40s/50s with a teenage girl. I've talked about it with others who also confirmed they've seen it and reported it. Yet, nothing will be done about it for the simple reason that nothing yet has happened (to anyone's knowledge). And *that* is the part that really infuriates me.
Why must we wait? Everyone can see how inappropriate things are. Everyone can see the grooming. Everyone can feel the dynamic. Yet, simply because the man might claim innocence nothing will be done. Because there is a desire to protect other people who might also talk to teenage girls and might therefore be at risk of supposedly false accusations.
How is any of this helpful to anyone? This is how we fail kids. Not just in naturist communities but everywhere. Because we believe we can't do anything until something happens as one person's s feelings take precedence over another person's safety.
I'm writing with quite a bit of anger here because the majority of this is a gendered issue and so I'll apologize once (but not again) for words misplaced that might offend. It's so frustrating to think about how many centuries things like this have lasted.
As a male, the sense of vulnerability is part of the charm I find in being naked. Nudists need to be aware that a female may not share that sense. Men don't live in fear of rape. Many women do. Vulnerability is to be feared. Clothing is a kind of armor. If a man assaults a woman, clothing is something that has to be dealt with.
It is also viewed as a sheath for a dangerous weapon. Many women and men consider a penis to be a sexual weapon. The difference between fully clothed and fully nude is viewed like the difference between keeping it secured in an inaccessible holster vs. brandishing it about.
Not everyone looks at it this way but the serious opponents of nudity do. This is just a confirmation to them.
Instances like this are aggregated by the idea of vulnerability when naked. There is no changing that response. I believe pointing out that this can happen anywhere is appropriate, but unfortunately falls well short of being the answer.
I feel that civil suits against perpetrators at naturist clubs would be appropriate. Most clubs have visitors and members sign a code of conduct which this would violate. I know this does nothing to help the public perception, but it can be an additional deterrent when it is known to happen.
Other ideas?
I hope some big strong man makes that living mound of human excrement into his rape slave. Prisons are bad places for kid diddlers.
Of course these things happen everywhere, but by stressing the “family friendly” nature of nudist/naturist venues and always highlighting the non-sexual aspect of our nakedness, when such things happen on our watch the repercussions are amplified. By saying “these things don’t happen here, we take more precautions than anyone”, we set ourselves up for a harder fall than other groups might face.
And no, I don’t know what the answer is, except redouble the vigilance.
This guy is lower than whale sh*t. He has single handedly destroyed a young girl's perceptions of a community of likeminded people and put into question the legitimacy of a whole way of life for Naturists in response. Yes, this can and does happen anywhere, but now we have to circle the wagons to defend against an onslaught of a public response to this. Current legislative bills in Wisconsin seek to reduce our freedoms for even less. What a slug. My opinion is that he should face the wrath of the legal system. Let him finish his days incarcerated.