Falling on Deaf ears.
Why do so many people new to naturism discover things we have been saying for decades? Weren’t they listening?
As part of the notifications that I get regarding news and posts on nudity and naturism, I was recently made aware of an article written in Cosmopolitan about the joys of holidaying naked.
The author found that while holidaying with friends in France at CHM Montalivet, simple non-sexual social nudity has a multitude of benefits.
The freedom to be who they are without worrying about their appearance or being judged.
The freedom from the male gaze and in conversation being spoken to face to face, rather than face to body.
The feeling of safety. Paradoxically feeling safe despite the vulnerability of not wearing any clothing.
The normalisation of the human body, after seeing so many naked people and starting to realise that there is no perfect. We are all different shapes, sizes and colours, and everything becomes normal rather than perfect.
The freedom found from discovering that you are enough.
Interestingly, rather than finding something, the group of friends realised that something was missing.
…a lack of threat, a lack of self-consciousness, a lack of fear: not feeling like you need to be on guard.
These are all things that nudists and naturists have been telling people for decades, and yet someone new to naturism discovers these things and seems surprised. Surprised enough to write an article telling others of their newfound freedom.
The day after the Cosmopolitan article appeared, a writer I admire, Jillian Page, commented on the same article in her blog. Normally my writing is not swift enough to be published the day after an article appears and a thought process is triggered in my brain. Perhaps my thought processes are not swift enough, and it is not so much the writing that takes time.
Jillian pointed out the same error in the article that I picked up on, which was a definition that naturism was non-sexual and that nudism had a more voyeuristic side catering more to the swinging community.
I believe that this is something that someone new to social nudity might confuse in an effort to make sense of the minefield that trying to define social nudity has become. Nevertheless, it needs to be challenged.
The Cosmopolitan article's confusion over the definition of nudism as more sexualised than naturism may be the experience of the author, but this is definitely not the case generally, and I would argue that the assertion may damage the reputation of many non-sexual nudist venues in the UK and Europe. In the U.S. the term nudist is often preferred to naturist, and many people work tirelessly to dispel the association between nudity and sexualised behaviour.
I am sure that sexual liaisons might occur in any social group such as book clubs or church groups, but no one assumes that these social groups are a hotbed of debauchery.
The naturists and nudists that I know from all over the world are just normal people doing ordinary things, but are people who prefer not to wear clothes. The absence of clothing does not flick a switch in us that turns us into rampant, sexually promiscuous beings unable to control our primal urges.
Naturists are people, and as such are sexual beings, but sex is something that is intimate and personal between consenting adults, and not displayed openly in our social groups, just like the rest of society. Even swingers mostly keep their sexual activities behind closed doors.
Swingers are a collective independent of nudists and naturists. While it is true that there are nudists and naturists who engage in swinging, the vast majority of nudist venues are non-sexual in nature.
I am not making any judgements about people who swing, each to their own, and as consenting adults, who am I to judge? I guess the point I am trying to make is that swingers are their own community, and are made up of people from all walks of life, not just nudists and naturists. Like naturists, swingers are doctors, lawyers, office workers, retired people, unemployed people or anyone in your community.
While the naturist community welcomes positive articles to help promote the simple joys that naturism can bring, persistent misconceptions can be barriers to many people who might consider dipping their toes into the warm waters of naturism.
The continued confusion from the public, and more importantly the media, around the sexual nature of nudist venues stops so many people from enjoying the simple pleasures and freedoms that are highlighted in the Cosmopolitan article.
If I had a magic wand, the one thing I would do would be to remove the misconception that so many have about nudity being sexual.
There might be nudity in my sexual activity but there is never sexual activity in my nudism.
-Marie Willa.
Thank you for reading. Have a comfortable day.
Next Week:
We are not immune.
Despite our expectations, it can happen to us.
Links:
I approached the author of the Cosmopolitan article some 6 weeks ago, but I have yet to get a reply. In the absence of her permission to reference her, I have not mentioned her by name and have not included links to her sites.
As the original article is in the public domain, I have linked to it here.
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a45303664/summer-vacation-naked/
Jillian Pages’ blog referencing the Cosmopolitan article.
my experience(opinion of course) as a naturist for decades and a member of British Naturists, AANR, and TNS is that there is a philosophical difference between Family Naturists and Nudists. Most of the time, 90% those differences are of no concern. That 10% though can impact the vulnerability of the shared nakedness.
To Simplify what I've experienced many not all, but many Nudists just want to be nude. The philosophy reflects the tone, "you leave me alone and I'll leave you alone". Their nakedness is associated with personal freedom and independent mindedness.
What I've experienced by many Family Naturists is a philosophy of connection to the Earth, Health and wellbeing of our physical form. They tend to eat healthy, don't smoke/drink much, and exercise. Their nakedness is associated with connection to others and reflects an interdependent mindedness.
interesting to note and this is only from my personal experience and it would be interesting to read research on the matter. I believe(opinion) there is a higher probability of swinging or open sexual behavior with people who identify as Nudists. Family Naturists have a higher probability of polyamerist community though the still less of a chance for open sexual behavior.
why is it important that Swingers may identify more with Nudists than Family Naturists? Money and the cost of resorts enter into the picture. Here in the states we have had problems with naked friendly clubs allowing swinger activity on the property as it helps pay the bills. Maybe this happens also with naturist resorts though I have not personally experienced that happening.
thank you for the article and the platform for me to share my thoughts and observations. It is of course demanding of a much more complex conversation; emotionally, psychologically, culturally and economically.
The entirety of the article is behind a paywall, unfortunately, so I can't see context but given that this is Cosmo mag, I would be surprised that there isn't something sexual mentioned -- it goes with the readership. Labels do suck, though.
I think this view of a new person's experience is critical to always bear in mind... and to celebrate. Maybe more stories about that liminal period before/after first time experiences would be helpful for bridging understanding. There's a lot of entrenchment on views of nudity and shouting over the chasm can definitely feel futile.